B&A Helpless my version
by Angelus's Girl
Summary: AR What if Kralik hadn't been interupted when he went to bite Buffy by his headaches?  The story takes of from Angel recieving a visit from Giles...
1. Chapter 1

Helpless remake.

Leaning back further on the couch Angel kept his eyes focused on the fire in front of him, his thoughts consisting of Buffy, what if she had been right to worry about what was happening, she was the slayer built to fight the demons that walked the earth, every night she had put her life on the line to keep their population down and out of no where her life had changed, she could no longer fight, she was just a normal girl, she really was helpless now her strength had been taken.

A loud knock sounded through out the room forcing Angel to look away from the fire and in the opposite direction.

Pushing himself up from the couch he headed towards the door, slightly hoping Buffy would be on the other side, he was worried about her, the more he thought about what was happening the more his need to be around her intensified.

Pulling back the heavy wooden doors Angel was shocked to find Giles standing there, his face a mixture of worry and guilt.

"Giles…can I help you?" he finally asked, at loss what to say to Buffy's watcher.

Stepping back so the other man could enter Angel waited until he was stood in his home before closing the door, the sounds bouncing off the walls more then it should have.

"Buffy's in trouble…" Giles finally said, making sure to keep his eyes on the vampire stood across from him.

Trying to keep his nerves calm Angel turned away from Giles and began walking to his leather coat that had been thrown on the back of the couch he had moments before been sitting on.

"Where is she?"

"In a house not far from here," Giles told him, his voice giving away the urgency he felt to get moving.

Pulling his coat on Angel checked to make sure the stake he usually carried was still in his pocket before turning to look at Giles, his eyes focused completely on the other mans face, "What's going on Giles?"

A full minute passed where no one spoke and each second that passed Angel was finding it harder and harder to keep his worry and anger at bay, he knew something was wrong the moment Giles had shown up at his door and dam he wanted answers.

"It's a test the watchers council set, if the slayer reaches her eighteenth birthday she will be disabled and entrapped with a vampire who she must defeat in order to past the test…I injected her with a vial that takes her strength," he paused, his eyes sinking to the floor as his shoulder sagged, "I never wanted to hurt her."

Angel listened to every word clearly, his mind creating images of everything Giles had said, him stabbing Buffy with needles, her face as she tried to fight the vampire…her eyes closing for the last time.

Snapping out of the trance he had been in Angel found himself in front of Giles before he knew what he was doing, "How could you do that to her, she trusted you!"

"Believe me when I say I hated every minute of it, do you think I liked lying to her? Seeing her in distress when all along I knew what the course of it was." Giles said back, his eyes watering with unshed tears.

Holding back the urge to hit the other man Angel spun away from him and towards the door, his hand stilled on the door knob, "If anything happens to her I will never forgive you," he said turning to look over his shoulder at the man he thought of as Buffy's own father.

Not waiting for a response Angel pulled open the doors and walked outside, knowing Giles was following behind him.

The car came to a stop with the sound of crunching gravel underneath the tires.

Angel was out of the car within a second and entering the house while Giles had yet to register what was happening.

The house was dark and quite but Angel could smell the scent of blood as soon as he was stood just inside the door, inside he was praying it wasn't Buffy's.

He heard Giles behind him, turning he looked at the other man, "Stay close and keep quiet,"

With that said Angel began making his way through the ground floor, his senses on alert, he knew people where here but he didn't know quite how many and he didn't want to put Buffy in any more trouble then she already was in by giving away his position.

Soon he found himself faced with a closed door, he waited a moment to listen for any sounds that anyone was on the other side, satisfied with the quite he opened the door and made his way down the stairs that lead to the basement, all the while his muscles tight just waiting for a fight.

Reaching the bottom he found no vampires but instead Joyce, who was tied and gagged to a chair, walking quickly over to her he knelt down and began untying the ropes that kept her immobile.

Giles followed his lead and removed the gag from her mouth.

"Where's Buffy, is she alright?" she asked as soon as the material was freed from her mouth.

Angel removed the rest of her ropes with quick speed, standing he helped her up, "I'm going to find her, but you and Giles need to get out of here."

Shaking her head Joyce looked at each of them, "I'm not going anywhere until I know my daughter is safe!"

Trying to keep his patience Angel took a deep breath, he knew this must be hard on Joyce but each minute they stayed down here, the less time Angel had to find Buffy.

"Joyce I know you're worried about Buffy, but its to dangerous for you two to be here…you know Buffy would say the same thing," he told her gently before turning to look at Giles, his tone changing when he spoke to him, "Get her home safely,"

Without another word from him he turned and began making his way up the steps, he didn't get further then two steps before Joyce ran after him, reaching out she grabbed his arm, making him stop and face her, "Look after her Angel,"

"I will," he said to her softly, his own emotions on the edge, turning he ran the rest of the way up the stairs his feet soundless as they touched each step.

Not stopping he stalked through the hallway until he reached the steps leading to upstairs, he was about to make his way up them when he heard something behind him, turning with lightening speed he reached out and wrapped his hand around the vampires neck.

The fledgling tried breaking the grip he had on his neck but Angel pulled his stake out and finished him off before he could cause too much commotion.

Before the vampires ashes could reach the floor Angel had reached the top of the stairs.

The second floor wasn't any different then the bottom, it was still dark and quiet but Angel could sense that something had happened on this floor, trying to block out his thoughts he began making his way through all of the rooms.

Rounding a corner after checking most of the rooms Angel stopped dead in his tracks, there was a pool of blood on the floor and it smelt fresh, panic started to grab at him at the sight.

Continuing down the hall he had to hold back the urge to scream Buffy's name, he so desperately wanted to hear her voice telling him she was alright, but the deadly silent atmosphere only scared him more.

The scent of more blood caught his attention, following his nose it lead him to a closed door.

Not caring he might make noise or give away his position Angel grabbed the handle on the door and flew it open, at what he saw made him want to close the door and pretend none of this was happening.

There on the single bed was Buffy, her eyes closed, the collar on her top stained with her own blood from the puncture marks on her neck.

Almost falling into the room Angel crept closer his eyes not wanting to believe what he was seeing, reaching up he went to turn on the light but found it to be broken and inwardly he was thankful, he really didn't want to see her any clearer.

Stopping next to the bed he lowered himself to his knees, "Buffy?" he whispered his voice almost choking on the name.

He knew she wouldn't respond but it didn't stop him from saying her name once again, ever so slowly he reached out and ran his fingers softly over her face, she was cold to the touch which was like a sledge hammer to the gut.

He didn't have to press his fingers to her wrist to know her heart wasn't beating.

Angel couldn't tell you how long he sat there watching her, but at some point he had broken down and cried for one of the only times in his life, Buffy…his Buffy was dead…and he felt like it was his fault, if only he hadn't let her go home alone, if only she had came to him…there were to many if only.

Leaning forward he pulled her so she was facing him so he could place both arms around her and hold her to him, he so desperately wanted to feel her heart beating through her chest, to feel her warm check against his, to hear her breath once more, but she remained the same.

Out of no where a bright white light appeared before disappearing a second later, opening his eyes Angel pulled his head away from hers to look around.

In the door stood Kralik a camera held to his face where he took another picture, which made Angel's eyes feel like they were burning.

Blinking at the sudden change of light Angel took a quick glance at Buffy once more before placing her the way he had found her and getting to his feet, Kralik was going to die tonight there was no doubt in Angel's mind about that.

"Why so sad?" Kralik asked, a smile on his face while he took another picture, "She will be up and about in no time."

The words hit Angel like a fist would have, the air he didn't need being taken from him so fast it hurt his chest.

"You turned her?" Angel asked already knowing the answer, but needing to hear it anyway.

Pulling the camera away from his face Kralik looked fondly at Buffy's body, "Such spirit in that slayer…I hope she stays that way."

Seeing red Angel threw himself at the other vampire, knocking them both out of the room and into the hallway.

Laughing Kralik let Angel pull him to his feet, "There's no need for the attitude, I'll share her with you…after all she is mine now."

Growling Angel morphed, his face becoming that of a vampires, "She'll never be yours!"

With that Angel began taking his anger out on Kralik, his fists breaking open the vampire's skin.

Even if he wanted to Angel couldn't have stopped, he had never hated someone so much as this… this monster had turned Buffy into the one thing she feared of becoming!

Minutes passed as Angel kicked and punched his emotions away, he only stopped when his arms began to hurt and his eyes were so watery he couldn't see out of them, falling back he sat with his back against the wall, his blurry vision on Kralik's broken body, even through Angel had broken most of the bones in the vampires face he was still smiling, wiping the tears away which resulted in blood being smeared over his face Angel took a deep breath, he felt broken himself.

Sitting there in silence Angel closed his eyes for a second, still not believing what was happening, why had things played out like this? Why could Buffy never be happy?

Opening his eyes slowly, Angel locked them with the vampire who had taken the only thing he loved away.

Reaching across he pulled the camera out of Kralik's hand, turning it around in his hand Angel took a moment to stare at it before bringing it to his face and taking a picture of Kralik's broken body.

After a couple of snaps he placed the camera on the floor next to him where instead he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out his stake, there was a slight look of panic as Kralik spotted the piece of wood, taking joy at the look Angel took a mental picture of it before getting to his feet and pulling Kralik up to stand so they where facing each other.

With more force then needed Angel plunged his stake into the vampires heart, with a scream Kralik turned to dust before Angels eyes.

Standing completely still Angel closed his eyes for a moment before turning and walking back into the room Buffy was in, the stake was held securely in his hand.

He stopped when he was seated on the edge of the bed, his eyes on her face before looking at the stake, would it be better to just kill her now?

But Angel remained as still as a statue, he couldn't bring himself to do it and he didn't know if he ever could, even if she did rise? Would he be able to stop her… he just didn't know.

And what if he did do it now and they found a way to curse her?

Sighing he dropped the stake to the floor and turned towards her, needing to feel her he moved up so he could place his head on her chest his ear over her silent heart, who was he kidding? There is no cure for her, his was just a fluke made especially for him.

No matter what happened from this point on, the Buffy he loved was gone and it was never her fault, it was his and everybody else's.

Taking a deep breath that he didn't need Angel closed his eyes tightly, the tears fighting their way to the surface screaming to be released, obeying them he cried silently on her silent body, his hands gripping her almost pleading for her to come back to him, his prayers went unanswered as he laid there crying.


	2. Chapter 2

The wind howled as it passed through the street, its cold blast hitting the people littering the pathways like a sharp knife leaving their bones achy and sore.

The force of the wind was so strong it was sending trees leaning to one side before letting them regain their balance only to slam back into the bark seconds later throwing them once again to the side, the nights sky above them was littered with gray thick clouds warning the inhabitants of Sunnydale of the upcoming storm.

A loan figure was walking in the shadows, his mind on the body he was caring in his arms, the weather the last thing on his mind.

Taking a deep unneeded breath Angel continued through the street making sure to keep out of sight, not that the people walking the almost quiet street were paying much attention, they never did so why should they start now?

The area around him burst into light suddenly with the sound of a deep roar, the sky above him tearing open and allowing the rain it had promised to make its presence.

Tightening his hold on Buffy's body Angel allowed himself to take a quick look at her, nothing had changed, her eyes were still closed, her skin still ice cold and white…he didn't know why he thought for a second it might have changed.

The rain drops began soaking the thin shirt he was wearing, the leather coat he usually wore wrapped around Buffy's still body, closing his eyes again the falling water Angel shook his head succeeding in flicking off the water that had ran down his face.

He needed to get Buffy inside before her clothes became soaked right through, he knew she hated it when she got wet…stopping that train of thought he scolded himself for letting himself think like that…the Buffy he knew was gone.

Taking one last glance at her he began moving faster through the street, wanting to get home and to a place where he could sit and think about what he was going to do…no doubt Giles and Joyce were waiting for him to walk through the door to the Summers house with a live Buffy following but that wasn't going to happen, not now and not ever again…how in the world was he going to break the news to Joyce she wouldn't be able to handle it and who could blame her, he didn't… he probably wasn't doing the right thing this very moment but for once Angel didn't care about doing what was right.

Finally after ten minute he found himself walking up the drive way to his mansion, his body wet and tired, it seemed the whole situation had sucked the energy from his body and soul, blinking the unwanted water out of his eyes Angel moved Buffy in his arms so he could turn the doorknob and nudge the door open with his foot before entering into the quiet room.

Kicking the door shut with the back of his foot Angel wasted no time and headed straight for his bedroom still holding Buffy's lifeless body in his arms.

Once there he slowly lowered her onto the bed not caring that he had given her his room or that despite giving her his coat she was just as wet as what he was, stepping back he instantly missed the weight of her in his empty arms.

Turning to the window he was just in time to see the streak of lightening that appeared on the black night's sky, Angel always had loved a good thunder storm but tonight he didn't care too much for it.

Walking towards the window he grabbed hold of the curtains before drawing them together blocking out the sight of the storm inch by inch until all you could see was the black material of the curtains.

Sighing he turned back around and headed towards the bedroom door, if Buffy was successfully turned then he needed to tie her down, there was no telling what she would be like…there had never been a turned slayer before, she could be could be just like a regular vampire or even stronger then the master vampires out there as her new vampire strength could only add to her slayer powers.

Not wanting to think about what might happen and how she would be as a vampire Angel left the room, his powerful legs taking him downstairs in no time.

….

"What's taking so long?" Joyce asked worriedly turning to face Giles, her eyes holding back the tears she felt.

The sound of thunder drew closer as Giles sat there thinking of something to say that would reassure Joyce, but his mind came up blank, sighing deeply he forced his own emotions to calm down, lifting his shoulders slightly he finally spoke, "I'm not sure…maybe Buffy wanted to take a few minutes to try and fix herself up."

Shaking her head Joyce continued to pace in front of the lit fire that Giles had made in hopes to gain their attentions, "No…no even if she had she would have been back by now."

Standing from his seat Giles reached out and took one of her arms in his, stopping her from pacing and turn to look at him, "Joyce, you have to calm down…Buffy wouldn't want to see you like this."

Pulling her arm out of his hand she stepped back slightly, "I'll calm down when Buffy is safe and sound in this house…until then I will panic as much as I want," walking over to the chair she took a seat, "Mr. Giles, if you had children you would under stand, you spend your whole life trying to do what's best for them, care for them…protect them from anything that may cause them harm…if something happens to Buffy I will never forgive myself, if I hadn't gone outside that…that vampire would have never taken me hostage and Buffy wouldn't have had to come and try to save me…" her words died off as she buried her face into her shaking hands and finally let her tears fall.

Giles waited a moment, torn between letting her have time to herself and comforting her, deciding on the later he moved so he was kneeling in front of her, reaching out he gently pulled her hands back away from her face, once her eyes rose to his he spoke, "Joyce you mustn't blame yourself…non of this was your doing…" seeing she was about to disagree, he tightened his hold on her hands reassuringly, "Non of this, it's not your fault." With that Joyce began to cry once again, letting go of her hands Giles placed a hand on the back of her head and bought her closer to him so he could place her head against his shoulder.

…..

The water surrounding him had turned ice cold moments earlier but Angel had stayed under the spray of water, allowing the droplets to wash away the evidence of what had happened hours before, once he had tied Buffy's body up and simply sat there watching her for hours Angel had finally had enough of sitting in his stiff uncomfortable clothes and headed to the bathroom giving himself distance from Buffy's silent body.

Reaching for the off button Angel lifted his head once more up so the cold droplets could run down his face in a refreshing manner before finally shutting off the shower and reaching for the towel he had hung up on the wall.

Running the towel over his wet body Angel took a couple of minutes to dry himself before realising he hadn't bought any new clothes in with him, sighing he cursed himself before wrapping the towel around his slim waist and exiting the bathroom, the steam from the room following him as he made his way silently down the hallway, his ears listening for any movement from his room.

A moment passed where Angel waited for any sign Buffy might have risen while he was in the shower, happy that all was as he left it Angel opened the door, his muscles tight in case something was to happen.

But as he pushed the door open and entered the room Angel relaxed, Buffy was as he had left her.

Taking one last glance at her Angel closed the door before making his way over to the wardrobe where he grabbed a pair of black slacks and black throw over jumper.

Feeling slightly self conscious Angel turned to look at Buffy, he knew she wasn't watching, hell she hadn't moved let alone open her eyes in all the time they had been here, shaking his head Angel grabbed a pair of black boxer and socks before dropping his towel and slipping into them.

Angel wasn't new to being naked in front of woman, as a man he had spent countless hours with the village whores and as Angelus slept with more women then he could count but being naked in front of Buffy felt like his first time all over again, she had only seen him naked once on the night of her birthday...the night they had made love and even then the lights had been down low and the weather was much the same as tonight.

_She's not Buffy! _His mind screamed at him.

Sighing knowing he was right Angel put his socks on before stepping into his trousers, he had them around his waist and was about to do up the button when a noise from behind him made him stop dead.

"Angel?"

For a whole minute he stood there, his back to the bed, his fingers still holding his trousers up, forcing himself to do them up Angel looked over his shoulder at her.

Her eyes were wide open and looking straight at him, her face pale and questioning.

"Angel...what's going on?"

Turning so he was fully looking over at her Angel took a hesitant step towards the bed, his eyes watching her carefully for any sign she was faking her innocence.

With any other person he knew they would be, but like he had thought earlier Buffy was a new situation, she was a turned slayer, on a whim she could have kept her soul due to her calling as a hunter of vampires.

But as Angel drew closer to her he found himself doubting it very much, with that thought he never took the next step and instead stood his full height, "You can drop the act...I know your not Buffy."

"Angel, what are you talking about?" She asked a frown appearing on her face.

Keeping his eyes held with hers he kept his voice calm, "I know you don't have your soul."

Slowly the frown on Buffy's face disappeared and a smile took its place, "There's no falling you is there,"

Hearing her confirm his thoughts Angel felt like a sledge hammer had been rammed into his chest, his heart constricting with the fact Buffy really was gone, inside he had been praying he was wrong and that somehow she had managed to keep her soul.

Without another word and not being able to be in the same room as the demon wearing his lovers face Angel grabbed his top before leaving the room, his body feeling like it was on fire from where she was watching every move he made.


	3. Chapter 3

The sound of the microwave humming was the only thing that could be heard through out the mansion.

Angel was stood leaning against one of the kitchen sides, his eyes watching the cup he could see through the microwave door, after his meeting with Buffy's demon he had decided to stay away from her and try to calm himself down, as the time passed he found it had helped a little.

Continuing to watch the microwave he let out a breath he didn't need, why he had though Buffy could be any different from the rest of the vampires he didn't know, more then anything he was just hoping she was.

With a ping the Microwave door opened a little in a sign the time was up.

Uncrossing his arms Angel pushed away from the kitchen side, walking towards the microwave he retrieved the mug of blood, the scent of it drifting up to his sensitive nose making his stomach growl.

Pushing his hunger to one side Angel turned heading towards the stairs, the blood wasn't for him….it was for her.

That thought alone almost made him stop dead and pinch himself just to make certain he wasn't having a nightmare, but he knew he wasn't, not stopping he began to climb the steps leading to the next level in his home.

A part of him wanted to turn around and walk back the way he had came but he knew the vampire in Buffy's body must be starving…and once again his other half didn't care, it wanted to let that thing starve, to punish it for taking over her body.

Gripping the mug tighter Angel stopped once he reached his bedroom door, he knew how it felt to go without the blood his body so desperately needed and he couldn't find it in himself to do that to her…even if she was a vampire.

Keeping his face emotionless he opened the door.

The room was mostly dark thanks to the closed curtains, the sun had finally risen hours ago.

Closing the door behind him Angel turned his head and looked at her, only to find she was staring right back at him.

He still found himself taken back with how beautiful she was… that he had ever been lucky enough to know her let alone have kissed her.

Ignoring those thoughts he continued further into the room and closer to the bed, his eyes staying held with hers, he wasn't going to let her see how much it bothered him.

Stopping once he reached her side of the bed Angel held out the hand holding the mug, "Drink," he said simply, his voice neither soft nor hard.

Buffy just looked at him before letting her gaze wonder over the mug, she was beyond hungry, her stomach was feeling like it had started to eat itself, yet she didn't move.

She didn't want the crap he was offering her, she wanted human blood.

"You really think I'm going to drink that?" she asked him, one of her eyebrows coming up in questioning.

"Sooner or later you'll have to," placing the mug on the side table Angel stepped back from the bed, "It's better to do it now when it's hot."

Buffy felt like growling, if she wasn't so hungry she would tell him where he could stick it but the need for blood was to strong.

Rolling her eyes at him, not impressed with the fact he had won she sat up in the bed.

"In case you don't remember you tied me up…" she said moving her arms, the sound of the chains backing up her words, "And it's kinda hard to move when they are."

Not moving Angel just looked at her, with the position he had put her arms she had a point, she wouldn't be able to pick up the mug.

Uncrossing his arms Angel came to stand by the bed again, turning he picked up the mug and bought it up to her mouth.

"I could quite easily do it myself," she told him moving her head back away from the mug.

Shaking his head slightly he spoke, "I'm not untying you."

Buffy looked up at him for a moment, her lips moving slowly into a sly smile, "I always knew you liked bondage."

Frowning slightly at her Angel forced himself not to pull back his hand, he knew what she was doing, deciding not to play along he simply told her to drink it.

Getting annoyed with the fact he wasn't biting back at her she relented and leaned forward, opening her mouth slightly so he could place the mug against her lips and with slow movements allow the blood to fall into her mouth.

Forcing himself to look away Angel keep his hand movements the same, he couldn't bring himself to watch her drink the blood, he had never imagined Buffy doing this and he had never wanted to.

Having drunk the contents of the mug Buffy pulled her head back, she could feel the tips of her enlarged fangs and seductively she ran her tongue over them while catching Angel's eyes.

The sight made him stay glued to her face, it wasn't just what she was doing with her tongue but the fact her vampire face was different from others of their kind, her eyes were the same as his an amber yellow but the ridges that he knew his face possessed were no where to be seen on her, she looked liked she always did just with fangs and different colour eyes.

Blinking quickly he let the arm holding the empty mug fall to his side, he had only looked to see if she had finished the blood when he had caught her eyes looking at him.

Why?…why did her face have to be different he wanted her to look like a vampire so he could hate her, but with her face like that she only looked like Buffy.

"Like what you see?" she asked him seductively, the corners of her mouth lifting in a sexy smile, a trail of blood that had escaped her mouth running down one side.

For a moment Angel was frozen, the sight before him was tempting to say the least, his vampire side telling him to take her.

Almost giving in Angel turned his head away from her quickly, forcing his vampire side to remain under control, that side of him had always been fighting him when she was a human, saying they didn't belong together that she was his food and nothing else, but now that she was a vampire it was like a double force making him want her all the more.

This had never happened to him before, the urge to have her was so strong it actually frightened Angel…maybe he should have staked her while she was still turning at least that way she wouldn't have been a threat to not only everyone else but to his soul…

If these types of feeling were going to keep growing stronger and stronger then he knew for a fact he was in trouble.

With that new feeling hitting him like a punch Angel turned fully away from her and made his way to the door, stopping when he heard her speak, "_It's better to do it now when…" _she began using his words from earlier, waiting for him to look over his shoulder at her she continued the look on her face making her look even more stunning and tempting, "…No one knows I'm alive."

A picture of him giving in and folding under her words surfaced to mind.

Giving her one last look he left the room, the door slamming harder then necessary.

Buffy waited until he was gone before lying back on the bed and getting comfortable, she couldn't believe how easily he was to torment, anything sexual and he buckled and for a moment she wondered what would have happened if she had tried the things she had said when she was alive…would he have been as easy to play with? Probably, he still loved her of that she could tell…well before all this was over she was going to have some fun, maybe brake him if she could, better yet have his soulless side come out and play.

**Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read and comment on this story, it means alot :) Anyway there might be mistakes as I might have rushed this a little but I liked the idea...so couldn't wait to right it.**

**I have mentioned Buffy's face being different when she is a vampire because I thought it would hurt Angel more with the fact she still looks like the love of his life, plus its easier to imagine and much nicer :)**

**Thanks once again for reading it**


	4. Chapter 4

Angel knew it was only a matter of time before people would come looking for Buffy and he couldn't help but feel angry, he didn't want them to see her like this, especially the people who had nothing to do with this like Joyce.

Remaining where he was Angel concentrated on the flames the fire was creating, his eyes catching every new shape and colour that appeared.

He predicted the knock on the door before it even happened, he had heard the sounds of movements from outside and knew his alone time was up.

Turning his eyes from the fireplace he watched as the hand on the cold wall next to it turned into a fist, he waited until the next knock sounded again before pushing himself away from the wall with more force then needed.

Soundlessly he made his way to the solid wooden doors and opened them, already knowing who was there.

"Where is she?" Giles asked making his way past Angel, his eyes moving over every object in the room looking for Buffy, "What happened?"

Keeping his back to Giles, Angel slowly shut the door his whole body tense, anger filling him once again with the fact Buffy was gone and it was mostly because of the man stood behind of him.

Not knowing what to say with so many thoughts running through his head Angel turned on his heel and walked past Giles, their shoulders lightly brushing each others.

"How's Joyce doing?" he finally asked, ignoring Giles question and asking one of his own, knowing Buffy would want him to look after her mother.

"She's worried sick…you were suppose to bring Buffy back home last night,"

Frowning slightly Angel lent back against the wall the fireplace was placed on, his arms crossing over his chest, "I can't do that,"

Giles moved from across the room towards Angel, "And why not…Angel where's Buffy?"

Breaking eye contact Angel looked towards the fire once again just like he had been before he had been interrupted, "She's gone." He said softly.

"Gone?" Giles asked, not wanting to believe what he had just heard, praying that his fears weren't becoming reality.

There was a long pause between the two men before Giles shook his head, his desperateness coming over him in waves, "No, she can't be gone…she's Buffy, she's….no I can't accept that."

With a snap Angels head turned towards Giles, "Well accept it, she's gone and isn't ever coming back and it's because of you!"

"No!" Giles said quickly not wanting to voice the truth, "I never wanted anything to hurt her…I never wanted to hurt her I tried…"

Losing it Angel moved away from the wall and grabbed Giles by the labels of his jacket, "You never wanted to hurt her?" he asked the other man skeptically, receiving a nod he continued, "Because of you Giles Buffy is dead, so don't tell me you never wanted to hurt her, you stuck a needle in her, weakened her just so she could pass a test!...how could you do that to her? She loved you like a father, she needed you so much, she was so scared and she died because you followed orders."

"No!" Giles said trying to move away from the vampire in front of him, his eyes watering with unshed tears, the girl that he was beginning to love like a daughter was dead and it was because of his own hands, his stomach felt like emptying its contents.

"Yes!" Angel said back, shaking Giles with the one word, his own eyes gathering water in them, but he wouldn't cry, no he had to stay strong not only for everyone else but mostly for himself, if he let go now he wasn't sure he could pick himself back up again.

"It wasn't my fault, I tried to call the whole thing off, I told Quentin it was over…that's when I found out Buffy had gone to the house."

"You didn't try hard enough, you never should have let her out of your sight!" Angel told him, the words he used repeating in his own mind making him realize he should be saying the words to himself as well, if he had just walked Buffy home he could have stopped this from happening.

Feeling sick at himself he released Giles with a shove and took a couple of steps back, until his back was once again against the cold wall.

Giles didn't bother trying to straighten himself out, he didn't care he looked a state or that Angel had grabbed him, he deserved everything that happened to him from this point on.

After several minutes of silence Giles was the one to break the silence, "Where is she Angel?"

Keeping his head downwards Angel closed his eyes, trying to keep the tears at bay as he couldn't bare to say the words he hated more then being tortured again and again, "I told you," he whispered.

"I want to see her….I have to." Giles said, standing up to his full height, he needed to see her, to hold her hand and tell her how sorry he was.

"Believe me you don't, it's better if you just walk away now."

"God dam it take me to her." Giles said sternly with more strength then he felt.

Ever so slowly Angel rose his head, his eyes meeting Giles, the truth behind them scaring the suppose to be older man more then he thought possible.

"You really want to see her?"

Giles's mind was telling him no but his heart was screaming yes, he couldn't just walk away and leave his slayers side without begging for forgiveness that he knew would never come, taking a deep breath he spoke, "Yes,"

Angel kept quiet but walked past the older man, keeping back the words of warning he knew he should say, knowing Giles was following he headed for the stairs taking them slowly, really not wanting to go to his room knowing what was there.

After a moment they were stood outside of Angel's bedroom.

Using his advanced hearing Angel waited a moment, listening for any noises, after not hearing any he reached for the door, Giles behind him.

Not stopping Angel continued into the room coming to stand at the edge of the curtain, not wanting to get any closer to Buffy then he needed, but close enough to jump into action if he needed to.

He watched as Giles walked into the room and looked towards the bed, his face a little uncertain.

"Hey Giles, what took you so long?"

Slowly Buffy's eyes crept open to land on the watched an evil smile spreading across her lips.

Giles did a double take, his eyes not believing what he was seeing, Buffy was suppose to be silent and dead…well she was certainly dead by the looks of it, but in the worst way possible.

"Oh dear god," he mumbled stepping closer, "What happened to you?"

Laughing Buffy shifted slightly on the bed, "The most amazing thing and I have you to thank for that."

"Buffy…I'm so sorry," he said, the tears he had been feeling finally falling down his face un-noticed as he stared at her, she had become her deepest fear because of him.

Unfolding his arms Angel half took pleasure in the other mans tears, knowing he deserved to cry but the part that felt they were both to blame made him step closer, "She's not Buffy." He said softly.

A laugh was heard from the vampire on the bed making them both turn to look at her, "Your wrong _lover_…I'm Buffy finally, I get to be who I am now that I don't have to worry about the weight of the worlds on my shoulders."

"Buffy…" Giles began before falling silent, his eyes searching her face for any sign she was still in there, knowing it was a wasted attempt she was a vampire…nothing more.

Turning he left the room without looking back.

Angel watched him go knowing how he felt.

"Well Angel, it looks like it's just us," she said causing Angel to turn his attention back on her.

Shaking his head Angel turned and followed the way Giles had gone closing the door behind him, leaving her on her own once again, making her only shrug, she knew he would be back.


End file.
